On Being A Living Paradox

Christians are ubiquitous. Conservatives are ubiquitous. Homosexuals are ubiquitous. What is not ubiquitous, however, is a rather unique amalgamation: a gay Christian conservative. As far as me being Christian, while I was raised as a Christian, I really wasn't faithfully reared in a church. Church was something sporadic in my family, a happening that would occur for a few months until it dissipated into a combination of a lack of care and just general laziness. Once I turned sixteen, however, and inherited my first vehicle from my deceased grandmother (a '99 Civic), I started attending the local First Methodist church. I really loved that place and went there every Sunday. I love God, his presence in my life, and all that he and the Bible stands for. My religious philosophies are the core of every belief that I have and really influence me as a person. Regarding my status as a homosexual, I've been gay as far as I remember. As any logical parents would, both my parents raised  me with the idea that marriage was between a man and a woman, and relationships were between a man and a woman. So, of course, I had not experienced anything to the contrary. Once I reached puberty (at around age eleven, I believe), I started to realize that what I then-thought  were my intense friendly feelings toward boys was actually a sexual and deeper emotional connection. And, like every single boy in this modern technological era, I stumbled across pornography on the internet. This truly solved many issues, as I realized that a physical union was possible between two men. There was one problem: being gay is a sin (or so I then thought). I would literally pray every night for God to take the homosexual desires away from me and, of course, he did not. My struggle with this is a blog on its own, but that's a generic description. It was my Junior year in high school before I was able to coincide my religious beliefs with my sexual orientation, and I've come to the conclusion that being a homosexual is not a sin. Now, pertaining to my affiliation with the more conservative party, I think it's just logical. While it is fact that most people share the same political philosophies with their parents, while I do, to an extent, I really am much more conservative than either of them ever was. I'm going to do my best to say this as sensitively as possible, as I don't want to offend anyone (and I'm not a mean person), but I just don't feel that government should dictate all but the core functions of a society and that, aside from the underage and mentally or physically handicapped, those who have a means of income should not have a portion of that taken away to provide for those who, by a fault of their own or a lack of preparing for certain circumstances, cannot provide for themselves. I'm sure this is probably more information than the majority of you would care to know, but I just thought a brief description of myself was necessary to precede all future posts.